I Hate You (I Love You Really)
by bamfhowell
Summary: Dan and Phil get home from the radio show. Dan wants to do nothing but jump into the shower after getting custard poured over him.


"I hate you so fucking much, I hope you know that..." Dan Howell said for the millionth time to his boyfriend as they walked into their apartment together.

It was around 9:30 at night when they were getting home. Their radio show just finished a half an hour ago. Though, it didn't exactly end best for Dan as since he had lost the last Dan vs. Phil challenge; Phil got to pour custard all over him. Even a half an hour later, Dan still smelt horrible and all he wanted to do was hop in the shower and get cleaned off.

"Yes, I know you do," Phil said as he shut the door behind him.

"I still don't understand why I was punished for losing a challenge. Wasn't losing enough punishment? How did this even happen? Who came up with this idea in the first place?" Dan asked with annoyance. He looked over at Phil.

Phil shrugged his shoulders. "Don't ask me. It wasn't my idea," he said.

Dan rolled his eyes and sighed in frustration. "Fucking custard," he grumbled.

"Come on, Dan. It's your fault for losing the last Dan vs. Phil," Phil teased.

Dan reached over and pushed him. "Shut up!" He whined. He sighed. "You're such a horrible boyfriend, Phil. I hope you know that. Worst boyfriend ever," Dan mumbled, crossing his arms against his chest. Phil smiled and walked over to him; Dan stared at him but remained silent.

"I'm not a horrible boyfriend. You're just mad 'cos you lost and I won," Phil said, smirking.

Dan scoffed and shook his head. "I'm not mad," he snapped.

Phil smiled. He went to lean forward but Dan quickly pushed him away. Phil pouted. "Dan!" He whined. "Why did you do that?" He asked. Dan never rejected his kisses.

"No. You don't get a kiss 'cos you don't deserve one," Dan said.

Phil pouted. "Pretty please? Can I please have a kiss?" He begged.

Dan looked at him. "No. I want to take a shower because I stink," he said.

Phil chuckled. "Well, can I at least join you in the shower?" He asked as he watched Dan walk onto the first step of the stairs. Dan sighed as he looked over at Phil, who smiled innocently. "I need a shower anyways. I forgot to take one this morning." Phil told him.

"Okay, fine. I suppose you can join me," Dan said. Phil smiled and walked over to Dan. Dan grabbed his hand and led the way up the stairs. "This smells so bad. It's going to take forever to get the smell out." Dan whined as he and Phil walked into their bathroom.

"It actually does smell really bad," Phil agreed. Dan pouted.

"This is your entire fault!" Dan exclaimed as he threw his arms up.

Phil rolled his eyes and shook his head. "We've been over this before, Dan. You lost Dan vs. Phil so it's your fault. It was your punishment," he told him.

"Don't remind me," Dan mumbled. He rolled his eyes.

Phil laughed. "It's not the worst thing that could have happened," he said.

"I got so many weird looks on the way home!" Dan sighed and then he took his shirt off. Phil smirked as he stared at Dan. Dan glanced over at Phil. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

"No reason," Phil said. He walked over to Dan and kissed him.

"Phil!" Phil laughed at Dan. "No more kisses until I've had a shower! I smell," he warned.

Phil raised his eyebrows. "Fine then. Whatever you say," he said. He shrugged his shoulders.

Dan sighed and shook his head. "Let's just get this shower over with then. I might have to take two. Or three. Possibly four. This smells so fucking bad," he mumbled.

Phil laughed. "It's bad but it's not that bad," he said.

Dan also laughed. "Oh no... it is bad," he said.

The two boys finally got undressed and then they hoped into the shower. "Wow. Would you look at that? You smell better already," Phil joked, after Dan had turned the shower on.

"Shut up, jerk! We're never doing that again. Ever," Dan warned.

Phil giggled. He wrapped his arms around Dan and pulled him closer.

Dan stared at him. "We should really shower together more often," he whispered.

Phil smiled. "Yeah, we should." Phil whispered. He leaned forward and kissed Dan.

Dan blushed. "Okay, I really have to get cleaned," he said, after the kiss ended.

Phil chuckled. "Fine." He said as he let go of Dan.

Dan smiled. "Hopefully I won't smell of custard next time we take a shower together," he said.

A couple showers later and Dan was finally cleaned and smelt a whole lot better than he did a few hours ago. Although, the smell of custard was still there, the smell was a lot better than it was before and that was enough for Dan. He would worry about the smell later. He was too tired to worry about that right now. It had definitely been a long night.

"I'm so fucking tired," Dan whined as he finally walked into Phil's bedroom.

It was now around midnight. Dan took one shower with Phil and two by himself. He wasn't completely satisfied but he was okay. He just wanted to climb into bed and cuddle with Phil.

Phil was currently lying on his bed, in his pajamas, with his laptop resting on his lap. Phil looked up and smiled when he saw Phil. "It's about time you came out. You were in there forever it felt like. I thought I would never see you again," he said jokingly.

"I really wanted to get that smell out," Dan said as he walked into the room. Dan crawled onto the bed and then he crawled over to Phil and he sat down next to Phil.

Phil looked over at him. "Well, how do you feel now?" He asked.

"A whole lot better than I did a couple hours ago. I took three showers and…" Dan began to say.

"Whoa, you took three showers?" Phil asked.

Dan nodded. "Yeah. Why do you ask?" He asked as he looked over at him.

"I thought that you were only taking two?" Phil asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah, well, I wasn't completely satisfied after the second shower so I took one more. I mean, I still smell of custard but it's not that bad so I can bear with it until tomorrow," Dan said. He sighed. "I want to get you back for this so bad but I won't because I'm a good boyfriend."

Phil laughed at him. "And you're too lazy," he said.

Dan let out a yawn. "Can we go to bed now?" He asked, rubbing his eyes. "I need sleep."

"You're so adorable when you're tired," Phil said.

Dan rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, you're annoying sometimes." He mumbled.

Phil laughed. He shut his laptop and then he sat it down on his bedside table. Dan smiled as he watched Phil. Phil wrapped his arms around Dan and pulled him close. Dan sunk down and snuggled up close to Phil, resting his head on Phil's chest. Phil smiled as he looked down at Dan.

"Goodnight. I hate you but I still love you at the same time," Dan yawned.

Phil laughed. "You can never stay mad at me. Goodnight Dan." he whispered. He reached over and turned off the lights. He also sunk down into the blankets next to Dan.

Phil was right though, Dan could never stay mad at him.


End file.
